Open your mind - Open your wings
Depression and
Burnout Therapy
in Roseville, CA
Rekindle your fire through courageous exploration and experimentation with new possibilities.
You’re in overdrive
You are at the “end of the road”—no space left for growth.
The stress of work has gotten to you.
You are exhausted. You feel like an old ship, hauled ashore and left to rust. Rest may offer only temporary relief.
You’ve invested so much in this career; you may have gotten some return, but now the well has run dry.
It’s not hopelessness. It’s futility that you feel.
What you used to look forward to now seems joyless and bleak.
You are simply burnt out
It feels like depression: joyless, exhausting, numbing, unmotivated, a blank blah. It's our desire to experience life, to put our mark on the world, that fuels growth and forward motion. Once that desire burns out, we come to a halt.
It's not exactly depression. Burnout may say, “I'm wanted here, but I don't want this job or career anymore.” Depression may say, “I feel unloved, unwanted, numb, and can't find a reason to be here.” Burnout disconnects you from your job; depression can disconnect you from living.
Burnout can develop into depression, especially when it's entangled with other difficulties, such as (childhood) trauma, chronic anxiety about making the right decisions, a recurring sense of failure, or ongoing struggles with identity and self-esteem.
If you're experiencing burnout or depression and are struggling to find your way out, we can explore what's happening and what you can do about it. As a licensed marriage and family therapist in California, I work with these concerns as they intersect in your life.
Why do we burn out?
Oh, yes, we all can get there—not just you.
You get diminishing returns with every subsequent investment. Initial enthusiasm can only carry you so far. At some point, you gotta stop and consider costs and benefits. When the payoff doesn't match the effort, burnout ensues and it's time to restructure plans.
You pay imbalanced attention to yourself and others, or to yourself and your project. This is where you realize that self-care is not selfishness but the cost of long-term vitality—for both you and your project.
You handle too many responsibilities and make too many high-stakes decisions for too long. How much is too much? How long is too long? Don't compare yourself to others to answer those questions. Look inside. Your life is your measure. What's safe for others may not be safe for you. And that's okay.
You battle too many obstacles, like hard-headed people, insufficient support, family or partners not cooperating—and don't even mention inadequate leadership, employees, or pesky authorities you have to deal with every day…
You experience persistent disappointment. Not meeting expectations. Yours or others'.
Ask the right questions to turn things around
Identifying the problem that has led to burnout is always the first step toward overcoming it.
What can we learn from this burnout? How can you reconsider your situation? What is your level of risk tolerance? How far are you willing to go for your peace of mind?
Warning: The answers may not be simple or forthcoming.
Too focused on others to notice your own needs? Burnout doesn't happen all at once. It builds through small moments of tiredness and disappointment, especially when you've learned that others—and everything else—come before you. The question that could lead you toward healing may be disturbing enough to avoid. But it's not X-rated or even PG-13. It's simply: What do you want? No, really. What do you want?
Afraid to speak up, push back, or ask for what you need? Perhaps you notice your disappointment when your needs go unmet but you wouldn’t voice your concerns. Why not? Did you get hurt in the past when you spoke up? Or is it simply that nobody ever taught you how to ask for what you need or say no when you don't want something?
As a woman, do you feel uncomfortable wanting something for yourself? When I ask the question, “What do YOU WANT?”, women's responses usually range from shutting the door on me and never returning because I'd asked them to be “selfish,” to looking at me like a deer in the headlights, to simply saying, “Nobody has ever asked me that before.” I don't recall ever hearing an instantly positive answer.
Burnout and depression therapy: explore the questions that matter
But you see, many of the issues contributing to burnout and depression can be addressed by:
Figuring out what you need and want.
Finding a civil (notice I didn't say friendly) but firm way to ask for what you need and want, and setting boundaries by refusing to accept a deal that won't be good for you.
Negotiating until you get your needs and wants met to the extent possible.
Course-correcting and handling the frustration that comes with the unmet portion of the deal. Because the reality is, you'd be the luckiest person in the world if all your Christmas wishes came true.
How can therapy help you rise from the ashes?
Review what a situation means to you and explore your thoughts, feelings, assumptions, and expectations with my insights and constructive feedback.
Learn how your brain constructs versions of reality rather than simply copying it, generating responses designed to help you survive. Your brain constantly reads between the lines, trying to give you an advantage. But is the reading always realistic and helpful?
Develop mindfulness, negotiation, and frustration-tolerance skills to get better outcomes—not only for others but also for yourself. Because you are a person, too, whose life and well-being matter.
Get creative and explore alternative ways of interpreting your situation, then experiment with different approaches.
Are you ready for takeoff?
I’m still on the fence about this depression and burnout treatment…
What if my burnout is caused by my job, boss, or colleagues? I can’t change them.
Indeed, you can’t. Negotiating for your needs isn't about changing other people or getting them to take your side. They have to stay true to themselves and advocate for their own needs, too.
Negotiating is about making your side of the story heard: your needs and wants. When you suppress your voice, you suppress your self-confidence. Then you listen to their needs and wants. Get creative and find alternative approaches that are no longer one-sided but satisfy both parties’ needs and wants. There are ways to do that. I can show you, if you're open to considering them.
What if what I want isn't acceptable to others?
Negotiating is an opportunity—not a guarantee—to reach a mutually acceptable agreement. You have to be prepared to walk away when the costs are too high and the benefits aren't worth it. Not every place is a place for you.
What if people get angry at me?
That’s possible, especially if people are used to being dominant in the room and having their views go unchallenged. If someone can't welcome another perspective, do you want to be there?
We also have to consider the possibility that people may become violent. We proceed in steps: first, WHAT do I want to say? And second, HOW should I say it—or perhaps avoid saying it altogether if it isn't safe—to cause the least damage for the greatest benefit?
What if I don’t know what I want?
That's why you're talking with me: to figure that out. Using your imagination is free of charge—you only pay the tour guide for feedback. Think of me as your copilot: you bring your own destination, and I help you navigate.
Ready to Find a Way Forward?
If depression or burnout has left you feeling stuck, disconnected, or unsure what needs to change, reach out to me. Together, we can explore what is no longer working and help you find a more sustainable way forward.
